Humility

‘Because your heart was tender and you humbled yourself before God when you heard His words … and wept before me, I have also heard you,’ declares the Lord. 2 Chronicles 34:27.

I was shy and quiet as a kid, and the periodic gut check of entering into the booth at the back of St. Theresa of Avila church and verbally exposing my sins to the compassionate man behind the white cloth caused my palms to get sweaty and my mouth to get parched.  However, it was a rush!  This introverted little girl could have done an Irish jig when I left the booth knowing that my sins were forgiven!  (I didn’t, though, because I was reserved.)

Something shameful happened to me along the way — I stopped repenting.  I don’t know when.  I don’t know why.  It just happened.

As I wrote in my previous blog, my wake up call 10 months ago involved a torn pastel painting.  I next read “Blessing or Curse: You can Choose” by Derek Prince, and it rocked my world.  When finished, I was more than convicted.  I composed a prayer in the form of a legal document (of which I plead guilty to a list of sins).  I said my prayer out loud in front of a kind and gentle witness on my knees in a church sanctuary.

Then came the grieving that went on for months.  It still brings me to my knees when I think about the shameful arrogance that this “saved” saint had before this moment, the disrespect for my Father’s ways, and the ignorance of his instructions and truths in his Word.

But my God is faithful and true.  Since such time, I have been blessed beyond my wildest imagination!  I hung a print of this drawing in my art studio so I can look at it daily and remember that I am never going back.

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