Acrylics Adventure

I dreaded this medium. My worst. The one I stumble and grope around with. It is strange and unsettling to use these quick-drying paints. Brushes are hard to control. A stray hair sends dribbles to forbidden places. You have to grip the tool loosely, then tightly, then twist it, then straighten. It makes a displeasing sound on the canvas. And then the mediums to add … a bit of a mystery. Not too much water or it will break down the paint altogether. And blending … egad!

In order to do something well, you must first be willing to do something badly.

I had read all about acrylics. I had even watched Youtube videos. I had even taught a class on it. But, it was not until I actually experienced painting with it that I really realized how to grasp it. It was not until my third painting that I started to act like myself.

I began with a gray value study. I blocked in the blacks, the medium values and the lights. I squinted to see the shapes come alive.

Now the color. I used a fatter brush than normal so I would not fall into worrying about too many details. I became looser and more like myself. I did know some stuff. I did have some foundation.

I knew I needed to unify it. Then came the grand finale. I was not afraid. That is the great thing about painting in an unfamiliar territory. There is nothing to lose. There are no expectations. There is room to experiment. So I used a glossy glaze with yellow and went over the top of it all.

For those who have followed my blog for a while now, you know my Father is showing me many spiritual lessons. Like painting with acrylics, I am learning as I go. I do know some stuff, but he is adding to my knowledge so that things seems strange, unfamiliar and a bit awkward. I am learning to share my faith with the ebb and flow of the Holy Spirit. I am learning to listen to my Father’s voice. I am learning how to intercede. I am learning about healing, both inner healing and physical healing for myself and others. I am doing things that are so very unnatural like kneeling in a hospital room and praying (no matter who is watching), like touching people, speaking truths and blessing people (even to the point of provoking tears on my part and the part of others).

So I am learning to like this mysterious medium of acrylics. I have a lot more learning to do, but it is quite an adventure.

Goodbye

 

Goodbye

Poisoning my entirety,

You cheated lucidity,

Contrived passivity,

And cloaked my identity.

 

Beguiling my faculties,

You embedded a hook;

Distortion took

With diabolical alliance.

 

Mocking my Maker,

You encroached with greed;

My Father did heed,

And awakened me.

 

Sensing a rousting,

You introduced retreat.

I was mounted to my feet,

And infused with power.

 

Grasping the blade,

I committed to eradicate,

Supernaturally obliterate,

With deadly penetration.

 

 

Warfare

But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. 1 Peter 2:9

I am a princess.  I am chosen.  I am wonderfully made.  I am blessed and highly favored.  I am a daughter to the Maker of the Universe!  Praise YHWH!

Satan has a counterfeit identify for me, however.  After recently reading the book Birth Assignments by Kathleen Steele Tolleson, I discovered my counterfeit identify.  I also realized that I had been in agreement with it!  Though Nanette means “grace” and grace means “elegance or beauty of form, manner, motion or action; fluidity,” Satan had contrary plans for me with an entirely different identify. Of course! How did I not see this? I had accepted the bondage of the following adjectives:  awkwardness, clumsiness, klutziness, and stiffness.

After I read that book, I did a quick survey of my life. I was shocked. My recount had the following:  three car accidents (resulting in three degenerated vertebral discs), a sprained ankle, torn ligaments in that same ankle, two broken toes, a broken right pinky finger, a dislocated left thumb, a dislocated left middle finger, a dislocated right middle finger, a broken left ring finger, a right torn rotator cuff, and more than a multitude of scrapes and bruises for bumping into things and tripping over “air”. I am an artist.  He was after my hands!  I am an encourager.  He was after my body so I would focus on myself rather than others.

The enemy hates me because I am a believer in Yahshua the Messiah, Jesus. He had succeeded in lying to me about who I was.  I had bought the lie — hook, line and sinker —  that I was a klutz and a “chronic pain sufferer.”  That was my identity.   I was the perfect candidate to be lied to — I was a spiritual wimp.  I did not fast.  I did not know my bible.  I did not pray with authority.  I did not know who I was in Yahshua.  Though I was a born-again believer, I certainly did not know that I had authority to fight in the spirit, or that I could trample on and have power over the enemy and that nothing could hurt me. (Luke 10:19). I mumbled things about the armor of God, but did not truly put it on (Ephesians 6).

So I started fighting, little by little.  I started declaring out loud who I really was according to the scriptures.  I started taking every thought captive.  I started fighting on my knees.  I started fasting regularly to kill a prideful heart.  I started fastening on the belt of truth.  I started putting on the breastplate of righteousness.  I started putting on shoes with the gospel of peace and the helmet of salvation.  Then I started taking the sword of the spirit, which is the word of God.  With the Holy Spirit as my guide, I even had the gall to start rebuking the evil one.  Wow!  When I resisted the devil, he started to flee.  When I drew near to God, he drew near to me.  (James 4:7-8)

I fell a lot.  I got scared.  I got spooked.  I had moments of unbelief.  But scripture says that “though a righteous man falls seven times, he will get up” (Proverbs 24:16).  So I got up.  Sometimes it took a kind husband or believing friend to pray me up, but I did get up.  I licked my wounds.  I took inventory what I learned.  Then I started again.

The above drawings reveal in pictures what I was learning. I have always been a lover, not a fighter.  However, I am learning that I must be both.  I have not “arrived” and have really only begun, but this girl is a warring princess who is a daughter of the King.

Watch

But be sure of this, that if the head of the house had known at what time of the night the thief was coming, he would have been on the alert and would not have allowed his house to be broken into. Matthew 24:43

I have an insidious, wicked, intelligent enemy who wants to steal, kill and destroy me.  John 10:10.

He has wanted to kill me since my birth.  As my Heavenly Father has always had a plan for my life, the enemy has, too.  Unfortunately, I never took him seriously.  I did not know how he operated.  People die for lack of knowledge.  Hosea 4:6.

This daughter of Elohim was not on guard.  I did not watch.  I was clueless.

Peter said this:

Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. 1 Peter 5:8

On my art sabbatical I have not only been learning how to do “all manner of craft,” but have also been learning how to watch and guard.  I am learning how to cast off and trample on the enemy.  I am learning how to hold thoughts captive that are from the kingdom of darkness.  It is taking time, but I am getting spiritual discernment.

A year ago I was packing for Europe.  I got all my prescriptions filled — narcotics, muscle relaxers and antibiotics.  I packed Motrin, Advil and Benadryl for a sleep aid. What a mess!

A year ago I was addicted to my chiropractor and my massage therapist. And if they were not the answer, nutrition and exercise were.  I was dependent on everyone and everything EXCEPT my God, Jahovah Rapha.  This fact dawned on me one day while on the phone with my sweet mentor.  I remember telling her that I would give God a week, because I needed to go under the knife for yet another injury, a torn rotator cuff. You know how once you say something out loud, you realize how ridiculous it sounds?  Bingo!  I had been playing phone tag with the orthopedic surgeon’s nurse to schedule surgery, but she would never call me back!  She would not call me back because my Father was going to heal me. He healed my shoulder (as I repented of bitterness), my stiff neck (as I repented of being stiff necked and rebellious), and an eye issue (which arose from having a plank in my eye).  My God has even been my chiropractor!  I can now read his word and lay down on a bench and even my three-level fusion pops!  It is wild.

Because I had not been watchful and had not guarded my heart, I put up with the spirit of infirmity that is not of YHWH. My sins and generational sins opened the door to it. I put word curses upon myself and agreed with them when they came from others.  What a lie!  The enemy is the father of all lies. Yeshua (Jesus’ Hebrew name) came to give me abundant life.  John 10:10.  The enemy had crept in and did not want me to know that my God’s Words are life to those who find them, and health to all their flesh. Proverbs 4:22.  The enemy did not want me to know that by Yeshua’s wounds, I have been healed. 1 Peter 2:24.  I know it now!

I did the above graphite drawing to remind me to watch.  I have like-minded friends who stand guard with me.  Thank you, Father, for showing me how to watch and for healing me!